The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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