youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
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You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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