pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
