Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
