I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
