I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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