I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
