I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I love having hate sex.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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