if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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