No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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