Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
