Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
