just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
