She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
