Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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