Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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