so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
