He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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