so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
