You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize