Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
