Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
