went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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