I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
