South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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