The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
