He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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