just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
