I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
