did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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