I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
