Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
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almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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