Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
