please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
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I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
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Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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