Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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