how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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