i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
