I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We have started to decorate penises.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
