my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
