I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
