No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
