wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
How does one acquire holy water?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
