If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
