i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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