cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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