OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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