your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my being single is dangerous.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
