She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
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At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
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I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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