You made me cry and you don't even care
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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