What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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