sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
