He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
