So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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