That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
