no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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