I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
