i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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