if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
