Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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