I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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