This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
