I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
