Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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