I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
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Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
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I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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